He is enough,
At least, that’s what I’m supposed to believe;
The pastor said so yesterday.
But his life and mine look nothing alike.
His children look happy, peaceful, and smart;
He holds his wife’s hand as they walk into church,
And she stays at home during the week
To homeschool, make meals, and keep the house clean.
I, on the other hand, leave promptly at 8
After pushing the kids so they won’t be late.
Supper at 6 means more work for me,
Then homework and baths
And finally sleep,
Next to a husband whom I never see.
He is enough,
Or that’s what Dad said,
But I don’t understand how that could be true.
My teachers are convinced that God is a myth;
They tear my questions apart,
And when I ask Dad
He responds with a Bible verse
That barely connects,
Says, “Isn’t God great?”
And moves on to what’s next.
He is enough,
The phrase rings in my head,
Which isn’t surprising,
I heard too many times
God is love;
He cares for you;
You’re going to be ok;
Lines as comfortless
As the tombstone erected
The day they put my heart in the ground.
I have nothing now,
No joy, no light, no hope.
How could Christ be enough?
He is enough,
I remind myself,
After intercepting my wife’s glance at the clock.
She sighs;
It’s 1 in the morning
And our son is not home.
He left in anger during supper,
Declaring that if we ever bring up his haircut,
His girlfriend,
Or his church attendance again
He’ll never return.
My wife looks at me
And I see the same helplessness I feel.
So I tell her:
“God sees us,
He understands how much we love our son.
We must trust Him to glorify Himself.”
He is enough!
That’s what I tell the nurses
When they come with my medicine.
Through weakness, pain, and long lonely nights
I know that He holds me
In this shadow of death.
So I will cling tightly
As I wait to go home,
Thankful for doctors,
And cures,
And crayon cards from the Sunday School class.
He is enough,
I tell my mom,
But she’s not sure she can trust a Savior who
Allowed her husband to tear his family apart.
He left us two weeks ago
And she has alternated between tears
And silence.
She looks at me as though I’m living in denial,
So I tell her I cry every night,
I’m wrestling anger,
And I don’t know what I’ll do if I ever see him again.
But, I’ve been reading the Psalms:
King David himself was betrayed by a friend,
And after declaring what he believed should happen to the betrayer
He said, “Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit
the righteous to be moved.”
So I too will trust that the God who made the heavens and earth
Has not forgotten us,
And He is still good.
Christ is truly enough and while I don’t have all the answers, I do know where to find them. The Bible says that He was there at Creation, He watched over His people, He sacrificed Himself for our sakes, and He is now interceding for us at the right hand of God. Wherever you are, whatever you’re going through, know that contentment in all things is found in Christ.
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Stephanie Kinsinger and her husband, Eddie, currently reside in Elnora, Indiana. Originally from Virginia, they both miss spending time with family and seeing mountains wherever they go. She works part time as the janitor for Elnora Bible Institute. Art, music, reading, coffee and good conversations with friends are all things she enjoys. |
For further reading:
Contentment in Trials: My Son has a Brain Tumor